Live and learn.

Well, my self-imposed moratorium on speaking about George Washington University for fear of jinxing it did not pay off. Admittedly, I didn't do a very good job of sticking to it. I just didn't want to... be chronicling what I could tell was going to be a nightmarishly up-and-down process, with no clear answer either way.

Thanks to numerous kinks in just about every imaginable process involved with admission or finance, I'm left with deferral until the fall semester eight months from now as my best option. If I go now I have a $12,000 unsubsidized Stafford Loan and if I wait until fall the fiscal year resets and they will give me a ton more money, and it will be GWU and Pell Grants instead of Stafford Loans. I feel like this is how people end up not finishing college; look at how much time I've wasted. There are people younger than me done with it and in real jobs by now. This made my semi-serious self-imposed vow to not shave until I went back to school all of a sudden far more daunting.

So it's time to go back to being an adult: looking for jobs, looking for additional scholarships. I'd like, really like, to head out to DC early, and maybe room with one of the AmeriCorps guys-- Coby, Ned, or Fusi, who live in DC, Baltimore, and Baltimore, respectively-- and spend a little extra in rent to be in the area, familiarize myself, and just be in a place I'd prefer to Michigan.

I feel guilty not having more Michigan pride, especially when I hang out with someone like Leeann, who has a ton of it. I wish I could find a solid unemployment figure: The Detroit News said Detroit's at 27% unemployment and probably about FORTY-FOUR percent underemployment. They said Michigan's official unemployment rate was just over 15%. It's bad all over, I know: Kat's having just as hard a time getting a job in Boston, and she's a college graduate. I'm wondering if it makes me worse of a person to say I feel like I'm a little too smart and a little too old to be working a fast food job, or if I should just bite the bullet and go apply at McDonald's.

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In other news, I went to church with Matthew on Christmas Eve and liked it a lot; it was the first time I've been that I felt like I was maybe missing something in my life. But I wouldn't know how to go about finding a-- this sounds ridiculous-- finding a denomination or a place to worship that works for me. I'd love to go and sit in on worship at a synagogue or a mosque, but I feel like I'd stick out like a sore thumb and be given a lot of dirty looks.

I bound a few books for Christmas presents. They mostly turned out pretty bad, too tight. I couldn't tell where I went wrong compared to my first book, which turned out marvelously. I'm going to give another go at it for a few late Christmas/birthday presents. I also very much want to take up sewing, and keep prodding my mom on the issue. I think we'll start for real on Monday. Guitar, too-- I should actually pick that up sometime. Or painting miniatures with Warren. Too bad I missed the awesome holiday sale. Buying a nice bicycle for a cross-country tour. I have too much stuff, and want too much stuff.

I want to commit to reading more. I was really digging Lolita until I left it in Chicago at David-Scott's. I read the first part-and-a-half (out of five) of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. I DM'ed a few sessions for the Sunday guys but my will and morale was both self-defeated and regularly-defeated: I think my expectations were too high.

Also I need to go visit my father again. It's been a few months.